Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t buy bullshit

Stock futures fall as investors eye Israel-Iran conflict: Live updates - CNBC

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I see through liars

Why do unattractive men assume that a pretty woman like me want them?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand how hurricane paths work

Why do so many autistic adults deal with self-hatred?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

If you could go back and rewrite the Legend of Korra, what would you change, and why?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Has anyone ever had sex with their cousin? How did it start, and would you do it again?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t cotton to rapists

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I don’t watch or listen to advertising

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Taking five minutes a day to do this can improve happiness, study finds - San Francisco Chronicle

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for fakery

How do you know if your husband loves you truly and deeply?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Person with measles visited Boston hotel, museum, airport, health officials warn - NBC Boston

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

My marriage is fixed. My future husband repeatedly calls me to meet me in private and pressure me to have a relationship. What should I do?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I can count

What are the strangest parts of The Bible?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Why do men love boobs (irrespective of big or small)?

I actually pay taxes

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Why did Donald Trump and Melania Trump sleep in different rooms?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I can read

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

What is your opinion about homosexuality? Do you think that it is by nature or a choice?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup